The slow dawn of a failed patriarchy

The patriarchal control of beliefs and behavior has already failed, and it’s a slow dawn.

Humankind is simply getting a heavy lesson in how to participate at a higher level, with less fear, less trauma, and more spirit. These qualities are spreading around the world today, dissolving the notions of control, domination and violence in systems of relationship and government. This revolution is largely unnoticed and invisible until we reframe our perceptions around the issue of trauma to see it as normal, constant and invigorating.

Sheldon B. Kopp once said, “Childhood is a nightmare,” and I believe that holds true for 99.9% of us simply because entering this 3-D world is absolutely shocking to the spirit. Even if our parents are unconditionally loving, witnessing what happens to other people, to animals, to the planet, is traumatic. 

Contained within all of our collective pain from a situation that is out of control is the insatiable desire for connection, inclusion, mutual support and contribution to each other’s lives. It takes courage and/or a highly developed skill of denial to remain here, and not check out either with suicide or the slow numbing death of addiction to any number of diversions from being fully present.

A patriarchal member of congress said (paraphrased}: “nuclear weapons support peace,” wherein peace is equated with stability. Consider this: nukes = peace = the status quo of stalemate = security of no change, no emotional or intellectual challenges = infantile narcissism = isolation and refusal to be born into the world as it is = negative power = spiritual death = physical death regardless of actual use of the weapons.

The threat of nuclear weapons is just one of our golden opportunities to choose to learn about being fully alive. If we don’t choose to learn … we will have another opportunity to choose, and probably in an even more dire, more out-of-control situation.

Learning from threats will in the long run save us from our childishly repeated fight, flight or freeze responses to trauma. The confidence to be curious about those threats does not come from the symbol-manipulating rational mind of the patriarchy, but from being “irrational,” as in being heart-centered in intuition and feelings. These are not just feminine values, they are human, gender-neutral values.

We are the only ones who can choose our attitude — how we receive “hard truth,” life’s meaning for us, and especially threats to our beliefs, identity or existence. To accept those threats with happiness and optimism is an attitude that the “rational” people belittle.

Happiness and optimism are the products of the deep, wordless experience of our core identity that is centered in our hearts. That experience is essential to human resilience and survival.

It’s an understatement to say that a bit of work is needed to get us to that higher level of less fear, less trauma, and more spirit. We need experiences, real heart-felt experiences, of connection and belonging, that last longer than a single moment, that take root in our being. I don’t know any other way of doing that than careful examination of our shadow.

When, in a safe space and in the company of others, we examine our personal history of trauma and its effect on our unconscious biases, we set ourselves free of them, and we are transformed into a creative source of systemic change. If we love this planet, if we love ANYTHING, we will do this Work of Love. (See

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