I wrote two poems in the spring of 1979 that in tandem express a complete sentiment of being able to hold simultaneously feelings that may seem contradictory yet are fully included in the human experience. Since 1970, I had been engaged in a study and practice of mysticism as taught by the Arica Institute, employing various practices such as guided meditations, bio-energetic yoga, and chanting to embody the Divine Human Prototype (Toham-kum-rah, the sacred name and sound of everyone’s heart-beat) through attraction to a new level of Divine Blessing, Barakath. My participation made a deep impact on my life that continues to this day.
I want to run away;
I am frightened;
I fear humanity’s violence;
I fear humanity’s ego.
I fear the loss of all that I have hoped for,
all that I have striven for,
all that I have dreamed of.
Dread and loathing grips at my heart, insecurity leaps apace;
I reach out to my brothers and sisters, lest I sink.
Cling to me!
Grasp my hand, hold my heart from bursting
At the grief of a humanity struggling from oblivion into reality,
At any moment READY to tear itself apart!
For the Love of God, make me a channel for Thy Love!
Find me a way to give away what I have,
Before the roulette of world events
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“A 200-foot plunge into Barakath!”
And leaned on the Rock for support.
“Where am I?”
“Who am I with?”
“How am I?”
Burning with desire, I had to know.
He told me not to fear, just watch the flower grow.
Spring is here, I feel it.
Love is at hand, the real thing, delicate and newborn.
No loud trumpets, please, just a look of recognition: