Kali, ego destroyer

The thought that we are all being sucked into a vortex of dark thoughts and feelings is difficult to avoid. It appears the world is turning upside down. I have to remind myself of what Michael Meade has said, “When things are going down, dive! What he means is that safety resides in completely experiencing our feelings of fear, uncertainty and dread of the unknown — not avoiding those feelings.

It may seem like a paradox, contradictory to the stiff upper lip we may have been conditioned to act out. Your feelings are legitimate, valid and a gift to you. Own them. I hope you understand that moving THROUGH those feelings reveals a kind of empty space of wonderment and curiosity about the movement itself, where it might be leading.

The world is not turning upside down, it is turning right side up. When you’re accustomed to living upside down, this apocalypse can be very disorienting, make you sick to your stomach like a wild carnival ride.

“The time you are living in is called the age of destruction,” they said, “the Kali Yuga. It is the lowest point. At this time evil comes to the surface to be destroyed. This dark-age takes place just before the arrival of the in-coming Golden Age, so today you are watching out-of-balance Yang energy creating destruction all over your planet. This IS the Kali Yuga. You have heard and read about it and now it comes.

“This is what is happening on earth now and because it is, you must learn to cope with this energy. You cannot reason with it because it is entirely destructive. Instead you must hold steady within yourself and observe its wild behavior from a position of power. If you do this, it will not be able to feed on you. Your steadiness will help contain its rapacious energy and it will not be able to do as much damage as it would otherwise. Call on us, call on the Net of Light and hold Sacred Space. Be mindful of who you are! You are a great being, here on earth to occupy a steady helping hand to the helpless. Within yourself you carry the great holding power of Yin. Call on it now. Live with it. Be as you were born to be.

“We ask one more thing of you. At this time reach out to one another in service. Many are suffering now. Feed the hungry, visit people in hospitals and prisons, provide shoes to those who need them, help the animals. If each of you plunge into one activity of service, together you will do great good, turning many hearts to light. Find a service project for yourself. We ask this of you because we know who you are. You are our hands and hearts on earth. You are greatness itself.” ~ November 12, 2016, The Great Council of the Grandmothers.

In a word, our collective ego-driven story of control, domination and violence is getting eaten alive by Kali (an angel), karma, by the unfolding of horror of natural consequences on a daily basis. We, collectively, have made a helluva mistake many times over. That version of reality is being crushed to death and is in hospice. Which is a good thing, a very good thing, because now our attention is glued to the question, what happens after our ego-stories — our beliefs about ourselves — die?

My experience has been — and I don’t think I am alone in this — ego deconstruction evokes a deep disillusionment (are you with me?) followed by despair followed by the story of “there is no hope, I may as well kill myself now” (been there, almost done that), in the midst of which the lights will finally come on, however briefly. In that passing moment we can accept (1) I may be terrified, but I am still here, for some reason I do not yet understand, (2) not only am I here, there are many, many people just like me who are terrified and still here, and (3) among us, there must be some way out of here, some existence beyond this stinking cesspool of mistakes.

If we can get to #3, we are less likely to return to the old story that repeats the same mistakes in expectation of different results. We become teachable. I believe we, collectively, will be finally humbled enough to listen and learn who we are, why we are here, and the entire context of our tiny, shrinking, existential ego. That is where healing begins: integration of past, present and future into one journey, one map, one vision.

Today, Kali is our friend and assistant, moving our ego stories out of the pathway for our deeper, more true selves to be vulnerable, to let go of our vanity of exceptional suffering, our self-pity. It’s WORK! One cannot do the work by a simple force of individual will, using one’s self-determined strategy. Collective wisdom is essential. Everyone needs many in-person, external ego-eaters, to teach us about self-respect, courage, persistence and patience!

The self-examination and dis-assembly of one’s ego is a well-known process in all the world’s great spiritual traditions, disguised in various forms. Kali is perhaps one of the most well-known. It makes sense that Kali is depicted as fiercely feminine. The new ego identity story is about gender-free, soul-wrenching release from the male, shame-based paradigm. I sincerely believe that rebalancing will be mediated by unconditional womb-based love, and yes, men are fully capable of expressing that same kind of love.

The external appearances, structures and definitions of what is “real” are being torn apart, burnt up, torn down, in order to reveal something far deeper. Apocalypse means this, literally, a transformation to what is essential. Dogma is goooooing away! The struggle to do more, to be the cause of change, is going away. Serenity is coming. Joy is coming. How much healing are you willing to accept? is the question that Kali is asking of us. In order to get good answers, ask good questions!

Right now, today, it seems like we have a long, long way to go before healing. However, archeologists tell us that evolution is nonlinear, that it occurs in “jumps” of sudden appearances of a new species that contains some of the old species but is much more successful at adaptation to its new environment. The old species is forced to go extinct, literally: fade away, shrink in size and numbers.

As we jump through this evolutionary “black hole,” we are becoming a new kind of human being, a new species adapted to a new environment, right side up, feet on the ground, and our hearts are open. When we and Kali shrink our egos, we will not force a Truth and Reconciliation Commission upon the old story. We will BE the Truth, we will BE the Reconciliation.

TOMORROW’S HEADLINES

In the last 24 hours, 5,023 people were stunned by a complete view of their entire ego structure and, as terrifying as it seemed to be at first, were able to accept it. Those who were interviewed reported better sleep at night and less tension during the day. Recent trends indicate an acceleration in the number of people passing through this identity crisis into a state of emotional flow. It is expected that large networks of mutual support will dissolve tendencies to relapse into symptoms of a vigilant fortress mentality. 

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